199+ Funny & Creative National Guard Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Dive into our list of 199+ funny and creative National Guard jokes! 

Whether you’re in the Guard, know someone who is, or just love a clever joke, these will keep you entertained. 

From witty one liners to laugh out loud anecdotes, there’s something here for everyone to enjoy. Get ready to smile!

The Benefits of Choosing National Guard Jokes

• Boost Morale: National Guard jokes bring a sense of humor that lightens the mood during tough times. 

• Foster Camaraderie: They create shared laughs, strengthening bonds among team members. 

• Relieve Stress: A good laugh eases tension and promotes mental well-being. 

• Keep Spirits High: Humor adds energy and positivity to any environment..

Funny & Creative National Guard Jokes

1. Why did the National Guard member bring a ladder to the base? Because they heard the morale needed lifting! 
2. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite type of music? Marching band! 
3. Why did the National Guard truck break up with its GPS? It couldn’t handle the constant directions! 
4. Why don’t National Guard soldiers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding a tank! 
5. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite workout? Push-ups… the world off their shoulders! 
6. Why did the National Guard member bring a broom to training? To sweep up the competition! 
7. What’s a National Guard member’s favorite social media app? Snap-drill! 
8. Why do National Guard soldiers never get lonely? Because they’re always in formation! 
9. Why did the National Guard member go to school? To learn how to take orders literally! 
10. What do you call a National Guard joke that doesn’t land? AWOL! 
11. Why did the National Guard member buy a calendar? To stay on duty 24/7! 
12. What’s the National Guard’s favorite dessert? Duty-free donuts! 
13. Why did the helicopter join the National Guard? It always wanted to lift spirits! 
14. Why was the National Guard member great at gardening? They knew how to dig in and stand tall! 
15. What do you call a National Guard soldier who loves computers? A desk-sergeant! 
16. Why do National Guard soldiers always carry their uniforms? Emergency dress rehearsals! 
17. How does the National Guard stay in shape? By running uphill… both ways! 
18. What does the National Guard member say at a restaurant? “Attention, I’m ready to order!” 
19. Why did the base have such good Wi-Fi? The signal was always on guard! 
20. What do you call a National Guard soldier who tells jokes? A combat comedian! 

Read Also:

Security camera jokes

Good National Guard Jokes

1. Why did the National Guard soldier carry a ladder? To reach new heights! 
2. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite fruit? Grape duty! 
3. Why did the National Guard truck break up with its trailer? It needed more space! 
4. How do National Guard soldiers stay cool in the summer? They have awesome in-tents! 
5. Why did the National Guard soldier always carry a map? He didn’t want to get lost in the ranks! 
6. What’s a National Guard member’s favorite type of music? Heavy artillery metal! 
7. Why did the National Guard soldier bring a flashlight to training? To shine in the drills! 
8. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite type of chips? Tactical nachos! 
9. Why don’t National Guard tanks ever get lost? They always stay on track! 
10. What do National Guard soldiers call their favorite snack? Guard-pretzels! 
11. Why did the National Guard soldier go to art school? To master camouflage! 
12. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite coffee order? A double shot of discipline! 
13. Why don’t National Guard members tell secrets in the field? Because the walls might have radios! 
14. What do you call a National Guard soldier who loves to cook? A grill sergeant! 
15. Why did the National Guard soldier bring a rope to school? To tie down homework battles! 
16. What’s a National Guard truck’s favorite dance move? The tank roll! 
17. Why did the National Guard recruit love geometry? He was great at finding angles in battle! 
18. How do National Guard soldiers celebrate holidays? With general joy! 
19. Why don’t National Guard units put joke books in their camps? Because they don’t joke around during duty! 
20. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite game show? Wheel of Fortification! 

Dirty National Guard Jokes

1. Why did the National Guard soldier bring a broom to the battlefield? To clean up their act! 
2. What’s the National Guard’s favorite position? Standing at attention! 
3. Why do National Guard soldiers never get lost? They always find their way back to the barracks! 
4. How does a National Guard truck flirt? By revving its engine! 
5. Why was the National Guard tent embarrassed? It was pitched too high! 
6. What do National Guard soldiers call a messy barracks? A drill disaster! 
7. Why do National Guard soldiers always carry duct tape? To fix their “slippery” situations! 
8. What’s a National Guard officer’s favorite kind of joke? The ones that don’t cross the line! 
9. Why don’t National Guard soldiers take naps on duty? Because they might get caught with their beds unmade! 
10. How do you know if a National Guard soldier likes you? They’ll give you their personal roll call! 
11. Why don’t National Guard soldiers use pickup lines? They prefer parade formations! 
12. How does a National Guard soldier compliment someone? By saluting their best assets! 
13. What’s a National Guard soldier’s guilty pleasure? A little R&R in their undies! 
14. Why don’t National Guard camps allow spicy jokes? They prefer mild maneuvers! 
15. What did the National Guard recruit say during PT? “I’m sweating for deployment approval!” 
16. Why do National Guard soldiers always look clean? Their commanding officer keeps them scrubbed up! 
17. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite kind of laundry? The one they hang on the line of duty! 
18. How does the National Guard keep things spicy? By adding “hot sauce” during drills! 
19. Why did the National Guard recruit get kicked out of the mess hall? They spilled too much of the “tea”! 
20. What’s the National Guard’s favorite bedtime routine? Polishing their boots! 

Cute National Guard Jokes

1. Why did the National Guard bring a ladder? To reach new heights in training! 
2. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite snack? Drill bits—just kidding, it’s granola bars! 
3. Why do National Guard vehicles always look clean? Because they’re on permanent “detail”! 
4. How do National Guard soldiers stay calm under pressure? They “tank” their lucky stars! 
5. Why did the National Guard soldier take a nap during training? They wanted to practice “Under Cover Operations”! 
6. What kind of music do National Guard soldiers love? Rock and “Drill”! 
7. Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the field? To write a “point” home! 
8. How do National Guard soldiers answer the phone? With rank and “file” tones! 
9. Why don’t National Guard soldiers get lost? They always have the “map-ter plan”! 
10. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite exercise? Jumping “ranks”! 
11. Why did the sergeant bring a ruler? To make sure everyone stayed in “line”! 
12. How do National Guard recruits learn so fast? They’re just “naturally guarded” against bad habits! 
13. Why did the National Guard recruit carry a flashlight? To brighten their “future”! 
14. What makes National Guard soldiers great chefs? They know the perfect “formation” for every dish! 
15. Why do National Guard troops always win tug-of-war? They’ve got “pull” on every team! 

Unique National Guard Jokes

1. Why did the National Guard soldier carry a ladder? To reach new heights in training! 
2. What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite kind of music? Marching bands! 
3. Why did the recruit always carry a pen? They wanted to be “write” on time! 
4. How do National Guard soldiers stay awake during missions? They take “drill shots!” 
5. Why did the Guard soldier keep their boots in the fridge? They wanted to stay cool under pressure! 
6. What’s a soldier’s favorite kind of weather? One with clear skies for maneuvers! 
7. Why did the National Guard soldier bring a map to breakfast? For “military-grade navigation!” 
8. How do soldiers like their coffee? With lots of “combat-ments!” 
9. What do you call a well-organized National Guard barracks? A “neat-ery!” 
10. Why don’t recruits like math? Too many “advanced drills!” 
11. What’s a soldier’s favorite type of snack? Trail mix for the long march! 
12. How do National Guard soldiers stay so fit? They’re always prepared to “step up!” 
13. Why did the soldier bring a flashlight to the range? To “shine” during training! 
14. What’s a recruit’s least favorite type of cookie? “Crumbles” under pressure! 
15. Why did the drill instructor tell jokes? To keep morale at attention!